For you
by Celena Winter
Summary: Decisions are always hard to make, but maybe you just need to reflect. Craig/John Paul. John Paul/Kieron


**For you**

"Hello Stranger,"

"Myra, hi, how are you?"

"I'm doing fine; things have slowed down back at the house." The brunette smiled sadly.

"Oh really, how so?" Kieron asked distractedly.

"Well it's just me and Michaela now, isn't it." Myra shrugged, her eyes lowering.

"Did John Paul move out?" Kieron turned, his attention peeked.

"He's gone to Dublin. Craig Dean has been calling him." She offered as an afterthought. "I don't know, John Paul was pretty set in staying away from the lad and then- I don't know. Well he just up and left, said maybe it was for the best... I don't know if he's coming back." She chocked, holding back a sob.

Kieron paled, his head dropped. "He chose him," he whispered.

"What was that, love?" Myra looked up.

"Ah, it's nothing."

...

"John Paul!" The brunet looked up at the call; he smiled, walking towards the shorter man that was waving at him from the sidelines.

"Craig, hi," he smiled gently once he reached the other grinning man, but said nothing else.

"How was your flight?" Craig asked after a few tense seconds.

"Yeah, it was alright. I'm a little tired." John Paul admitted, looking away.

"Oh well, lets go back to my place and drop your stuff off." Craig smiled, looking down at the one bag. "How long will you stay for?"

John Paul shrugged, turning to follow the thinning crowd of travellers, Craig joining him a few seconds later and they walked towards the exit.

Craig hailed a taxi, once they were outside, and smiled at John Paul as he walked around and opened the door before getting in and offering his address to the driver. The brunet smiled back, more forcefully than he intended. Looking back at the airport he let out a resigned breath, opening his door and putting his bag between them, he slid in and slamming the door close.

Seeing his old lover again was nothing like he has expected. Yes, he still loved Craig. It's hard not to love your first real crush, but now it all just seemed so... adolescent. It was _just _a teenage dream. He wanted to feel the old flames that burned in the pit of his abdomen, but he felt rather distant.

The drive to Craig's apartment was rather short and quiet. Craig smiled every time John Paul looked back at him and John Paul returned the affection, with some detachment, but he favoured, somewhat, to maintain his gaze on the passing scenery.

Once they reached the apartment complex, Craig paid for the fair and stepped out of the taxi. John Paul looked out the window, his head tilting back as he took in the looming building. He was in his mind to ask the taxi driver to take him back to the airport when Craig bent down and popped his head inside the taxi.

"Come on, we ain't got all life time, you know." He smiled, pulling out and closing the door.

Shaking his head to clear it, John Paul took a deep breath and opened the door. Taking one more moment to look out of the door, he pulled back, his hand resting on his bag. Closing his eyes, he nodded his head once in self-encouragement before sliding out of the door and pulling his bag behind him.

The door slamming close and the taxi driving off the curve felt like a conclusion and John Paul frowned. The deadweight settled on his stomach once more. Why did he feel so wrong?

"Come on, you have to be knackered."

...

"What's wrong?" Kris plopped down on the seat apposite the silent priest.

Kieron looked up, frowning slightly before looking back down and contemplating the bottle in his hand, shrugging at Kris's question.

"You found out that John Paul has gone to Dublin," It wasn't a question as much as the correct assumption and Kris only offered a small smile as Kieron looked up sharply in shocked surprised.

"Am I that easy to read?" He asked sombrely, looking back down at the bottle.

"Not really, it's just more to do with the fact that I know what's really going on and I know you pretty well." Kris shrugged easily.

"Well, at least I know where I stand now." The older man smiled slightly bitterly.

"You make it sound so black and white... what happened to all those shades of grey?"

"Look, I know you mean well, but if John Paul was at all interested in me, he would be here," '_by my side,'_ were the unspoken words.

"Perhaps he just wanted to figure himself out and he thought going back to finish whatever issues he had with Craig is part of making a fresh start." The blond supplied hopefully.

Kieron snorted self-depreciatively. "I don't think so, he knows what he wants. As nice as a picture as you paint, I know that John Paul only wants the best, nothing less than he deserves. I know when to cut my losses and I'm just not good enough for him."

"You're right, John Paul only wants the best... and he is coming back to claim it." Kris smirked, pushing away from the chair and walked back to the bar, not giving the priest time to protest.

...

John Paul looked up from contemplating his drink as Craig approached the corner table, at the back of the bar. Craig smiled taking his seat next to the taller man and took a sip from his glass.

"I'm glad your here. I've missed you." Craig whispered against his ear.

John Paul pulled back, smiling tightly. He nodded shortly before letting his eyes wander back to the quiet bar. After a few minutes he turned back to the Craig. "I don't know why I'm here." He said softly.

Craig's face fell but his companion didn't see the reaction. "What do you mean?" He asked just as quietly, afraid that something might break in case he spoke a whisper too loudly.

"I though, if only I just saw you one more time then everything in my life would make sense but it doesn't. I... everything... I don't belong here." John Paul shook his head.

"You don't belong here... or you don't belong with me?" Craig questioned shakily.

"Here, you, maybe both... maybe neither. I dunno."

Craig nodded in understanding although he had no idea what the words really meant. "Do you want to go home?" He asked, meaning his apartment.

John Paul looked back, tilting his head in contemplation. "Yes, I do." He nodded, really smiling for the first time. "I'll go home tomorrow, but maybe you should show me Dublin so that I can have some stories to take back to me."

Craig smiled gently, albeit a little sadly, but nodded in agreement nonetheless. "Yeah, I'll show you around. The next time you come, you better have more time; otherwise you will miss the real beauty of Dublin."

...

There was a persistent knock on the door. "Alright, alright, I'm coming!" Kieron grumbled as he walked down the last few steps. He yanked the door open, ready to chastise Niall for forgetting his keys but his words died on their way up his throat.

"Can I come in?" John Paul asked nervously.

Kieron shook his head, clearing it, but John Paul was still standing on the doorsteps, looking more anxious by the second. He nodded, realising that he hadn't answer the young man's question, and stepped back from the doorway to allow him entry.

"I thought you went to Dublin?" He blurt out, the moment that the door closed. He instantly regretted it when he saw John Paul tense.

"News travels fast," John Paul chuckled uneasily. A few moments past, the air becoming tense in the silence the longer they waited. "Look, yes, I went to see Craig-" he cut off, not knowing what to say now that he faced the older man. "I love Craig..." He whispered, biting his lip as Kieron tensed, but he strived to follow through. "Craig will always be a part of my heart because he was the first real love in my life; he will always be part of my past." He breathed out, realising that, as he spoke, the words came easier. "But he is a closed chapter to my life. When I saw him yesterday... I knew that although he is special in a rather abstract way... my life has moved on and although it is sort of sad that I lost him-" he paused, meeting the priest's dark eyes. "The loss of that old love has granted me a far better love in you." He whispered, his eyes hard as he tried to convey his feelings through his eyes, willing the older man to understand.

"John Paul-" Kieron started but his voice was cut off as the younger man moved forward and covered his lips in a desperate kiss.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please, don't hate me. I need you so much." He whispered against shaking lips. "Please, please don't hate me."

"When I heard that you went-" Kieron chocked, unable to continue.

"No, I just needed to close that chapter. You deserve so much, so much. I couldn't let myself lead you on whilst I wondered _what if_. But I have nothing holding me back now. I love you." His voice was filled with conviction.

Kieron groaned deep in his throat, pulling John Paul closer and covering his lips in a feverish kiss.

"Make love to me Kieron." John Paul pulled back, his dark eyes pleading.

"Are you sure?" Kieron pulled back, his eyes clearing slightly as he studied the younger face.

"I had a lot of time to think. Love is about giving and taking. I can't ask for everything, and although I hate to hide what we have... I can wait. I can keep my silence until we're both ready. You have your duty as a priest; I have my duty as the man that loves you." He breathed out.

"I love you. I don't have a problem with letting them all know." Kieron whispered.

"I know, but let every else love you - in a non-sexual way – before we shake their foundations." John Paul smiled tenderly, blushing when Kieron laughed at his comment.

"Thank you." Kieron whispered, brushing his thumb against the soft cheek.

"What for?" John Paul looked up, the confusion clearly showing in his eyes.

"For coming back to me; for letting me love you... for being everything I want, everything I need and so much more than I deserve. For loving me," he whispered ardently.

John Paul smiled again, pressing his lips to the taller man in a gentle chaste kiss. "Make love to me... let me wake up with you by my side."


End file.
